wizard stitch and bitch

Peter and Fran Index

Yes, five years later, one of us finally made an index.

1a. Rumors on The Internets
1b. Something Viggo Might Call 'A Series of Awakenings'

2a. On the Cover of the Rolling Stone
2b. The Life and Times of...

3a. We should talk more
3b. Wednesday, around 3ish, on the porch

4a: twenty-two december, two thousand and four, nine-twenty-seven pm (pacific time)
4b: Are these wrist bands fair trade?
4c: kerfuffle

Part Five: 27 October 2004
5a: Strange things are afoot at the Wellington School For Dramatic Expression
5b: That is a straight line like this is a theatrical experience

6a. Lo, How Easily One Can Become Six
6b. Dear Fans, Friends and Extended Family
6c. More Than Just the Bongos

7a. Untitled benefit songs 1-7
7b. Really sorry, Sala
7c. Song Singing Sleeve

8a. And Also, Dead Fish
8b. This Would Have Been Faster If We'd Ordered from the Vietnamese Place
8c. Budget Line Item: Bubble Wrap

Part 9a: Assorted Nibbles
Part 9b: Keep on Turning
Part 9c: Unsigned, Unsealed, Undelivered

Part 10: January 17 2003
10a. What We Talk About When We Talk About Last Time
10b. P&F Street Cred

11a. Whatever happened to, you know, everything?
11b. Ticketmaster may be evil, but Bernard says we're not Eddie Veder

Part 12a. Subject: RE: Astin Project
Part 12b. You get three points for every chair you keep Elijah from sitting in
Part 12c. There's no such thing as bad publicity

Part 13: Spring 2000
13a: Polly Goes to London
13b: Second EP
13c: I Think We're In A Band

14a. One Night Only
14b. Okay, 'Peter and Fran Go to the Airport'...GO
14c. In Fact, Elijah Was Right

15a. Letters From the Front
15b. The Grand Hyatt Berlin
15c. Filling the Ratio

Part 16: February 2002
16a. The Man, The Myth, The Legend
16b. Musings of a Tambourine Playing Man

17a. Prague to Munich: bach in e minor
17b. Rome to Zurich: a fast snack between clients
17c. Amsterdam to Paris: as many facets as a 40 carat diamond

18a. Barcelona to Madrid: Spoken By Roughly 7 Million People
18b. Madrid to Dublin: Bono's Been To Brazil
18c. Belfast to Glasgow: Wogslag Is Glasgow Spelled Backwards

Part 19: November, 2001
19a. sunday's on the phone to monday
19b. carve your number on my wall
19c. i'm only sleeping
19d. they call me on and on

20a. Four Divorces Between Them
20b. Therapy with your porridge?

21a. How Do You Say 'Divorce' in Czech?
21b. The Triumphant Return of the Guitorgan
21c. Guatemalans Are The New Peruvians

Part 22: August/September 1999
22a. On Being a Prodigy
22b. On Playing the Rock Star
22c. On Reading German Philosophy

Part 23a: A Tree Named Charlie
Part 23b: Like Watching A Mule Go Up A Ladder

24a. Signs Point to No
24b. Newbies
24c. After the Show is the After Party

Part 25: Spring 2003
25a. Don't Panic
25b. The Man Puts Down the Tambourine

26a. All of the socks you lose in the washing machine rest soundly on Peter & Fran's mantle.
26b. For breakfast, Peter & Fran has two poached eggs and a minivan.
26c. Peter & Fran traded vocal cords with James Earl Jones in 1995. The American public has yet to catch on.

27a. Now are you being sarcastic?
27b. Mom, I want gadgets!
27c....it's just part of my ineffable charm!

Part 28: December 2001 + April 2002
28a. If an acquaintance has more CDs than me, I feel intimidated and emasculated.
28b. It was like I was singing 'Layla' to you every single night and all you did was sleep with George Harrison.

29a: Only 23 Ways to Repack a Pair of Jeans
29b: Passengers Are Advised To Avoid All Band Members
29c : PR Amazement In Eight Parts

30a. i'm not the man they think i am at all
30b. like trying to drink whiskey from a bottle of wine
30c. the spotlight's hitting something that's been known to change the weather

Part 31: Winter 2003
31a. That's a Simple To Do List
31b. Make a Scornful Noise Unto the Lord

32a. A little father/son bonding in the dark
32b. Hug it out
32c. Even in this band, everyone's got secrets

33a: At Least My Lungs Will Sparkle
33b: Your Sherpa Through the Wilderness
33c: What Reruns of Dynasty are For

Part 34: November/December 2002
34a. Introduced During a Thousand-Year Conquest
34b. Off-road in Thailand-- A True Life Experience
34c. Claire Danes Says It's Full of Cockroaches

35a. The next episode: Bean being Bean
35b. Anywhere I was going to go, I was going to do my job
35c. He's a lunatic, but in a functional way

36a: Shocked and Delighted
36b: Before My Bandwidth Blows Out
36c: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reuniting

37a: I think I fell in love for a split second. And then I felt a bit sick.
37b: And then they stopped the bus and Bernard took over, which was ... really alarming.
37c: This is only performed for dignitaries, or, you know, people of importance.

38a. Motherfuck the wagon, come join the band
38b. Show me samples, examples why you're the shit
38c. Stickin' two together 'cause we don't know how

Part 39: Winter 1999
39a. And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack / And you may find yourself in another part of the world.
39b. And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife.

40a: Maybe you'll know it when you see it / Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
40b: When I counted up my demons / Saw there was one for everyday
40c. Start as you mean to go on

41a: i was just in a hibernation state trying to re-acclimate myself
41b: it was odd that someone so young could have such a high tolerance for insanity
41c: it was the most amazing anomaly i've ever encountered

42a. how do you say 'experiencing turbulence' in korean?
42b. three brits, a scot, an american and a kiwi walk into a drag bar

43: Fall 2009
43a. signs which don't take, which turn, as milk does
43b. i read at the same time: this will be and this has been

44a. i live like a hermit in my own head
44b. just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
44c. but while you debate half-empty or half-full

45a: That's just what this country needs: a cock in frock on a rock.
45b: Well I'll be darned. The whole circus is in town.
45c: Is it true when you were born the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?
45d: You take the lunch and tea, I'll take the ecstasy.

46a. why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
46b. the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
46c. but that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows

47a. crazy with your soup
47b. bloody marys for breakfast
47c. apples and tea before bed

Part 48: Summer 2002
48a. I just want you to know that I'm sitting here in my bathrobe.
48b. Actually, that's a lie. I'm not in my bathrobe.

49a. like puzzle pieces from the clay
49b. my troubled head when you're away

49c. out there on the road for several weeks of shows
49d. when you scan the radio, i hope this song will guide you home

50a: Nobody told us that it was actually gonna blow up! You know? I just thought that we were gonna do that, and then do the blowing up bit later!

50b. It wasn't even an intellectual thing. It was like it was destined to happen, and I was destined to do it. It wasn't that I wanted to do it-- it was that I had to do it.

50c: As Dom says, it's funnier than a penguin playing a banjo.

50d. People get together, people come apart, marriages falter, people get ill, people get pregnant, people get injured. It’s just like a giant traveling circus.

- ask one of the characters of Peter & Fran anything

so you want to read?

To start at the beginning:

Go here.
Scroll all the way to the bottom to find Part 1a and Part 1b.


(Sorry to those who've already read. I forget people still have it on their friends list-- I'm just trying to clean it up and make it more navigable.)